Various Artists
Pearls in the Snow (The Songs of Kinky Friedman)
Kinkajou Records

Kinky who??? Near as I can figure, Kinky Friedman is an author/performer who happened to write a batch of songs in the early '70's. A producer named Kacey Jones decided to put together a collection of his works using lots and lots of country artists. Kacey and Kinky seem to have formed quite a bond, according to the CDs liner notes.

"As a producer," Kinky says, "she's got geat ears and large breasts. She is so good you would think she's a guy."
Kacey replies, "Thank you, you whining little weenie."

Right then and there, I should have guessed this album would be rather unusual. That's putting it mildly. He's Jewish, and seems to have done for country music what Mel Brooks has done for movies. Not all of his songs make reference to Jews, but the ones that do . . . !

Most of his songs reflect one of two things. This boy has a really twisted sense of humor, and he can also write really nice songs. The first song that grabbed my attention is done by Delbert McClinton. "Autograph" is a bittersweet view of success. I liked the music, and the words.

Although the next song was way too twangy, the following more than made up for it. A country swing ditty sung by Asleep At The Wheel. Here are a couple of verses from "Before All Hell Breaks Loose."

Before you go I wish you'd come
Before you leave I wish you'd love me some
I'll give you all of the dreams you can use
Before all hell breaks loose

Turn out the lights honey, turn on the news
God save the Queen and the kangaroos
And what kind of rubbers did Joseph use
Before all hell broke loose"

Nice, huh?
I thought it was pretty funny, untilI heard "Get Your Biscuits In The Oven (And Your Buns Back In Bed). It is such a chauvenistic song, but it cracked me up! Sung by some guy named Tampell Glaser, here's a little sample.

"Early every mornin' you're out in the street
passin out pamphlets to everyone you meet
You gave up your maidenform for lent
Now the front of your dress has an air-scoop vent"

If nothing else, this song title should be on Tom Snyder's list of the worst country song title's ever!

I listen to a few more nice, normal tracks on the CD, then I hear "Ol' Ben Lucas", done by Chuck E. Weiss and the G-d Damn Liars. It is, I swear to God, a song about a guy who's always picking his nose. It's totally disgusting! Of course I laughed!

Toward the end of the CD there was a medely of songs done by the Texas Jewboys. One of the songs was "They Ain't Makin'Jews Like Jesus Anymore." Without printing the lyrics to the entire song, I couldn't do it justice.

Should you buy this CD? It depends. There are some pretty good tunes, especially if you like country music. Did I mention both Lyle Lovett and Tom Waits are on here? Anyway, I'm not sure this collection is for everyone. If you have a really twisted sense of humor, you'll dig it. If not, I'm not sure the music in and of itself will be enough of a draw. So there. You've been warned -- I mean, informed.

-Kate Rice

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