Blaque
Blaque
Columbia Records

A group of girls discovered by TLC's Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez, Blaque is a tight girl band destined for heavy MTV airplay. Their self-named debut album features "808," a track produced by R&B super-act R. Kelly. If that's not enough to get you all damp and excited, adorable kiddie group, ‘N Sync, joins Blaque in singing "Bring It All To Me," a song your twelve year old daughter is going to be singing at the top of her lungs for weeks. The magic eight ball predicts that these girls will most certainly undergo a meteoric rise to fame on the shirt-tails of the superstars that back them, immediately followed by some kind of unusual, over-publicized run-in with some community law enforcement agency. Despite the hilarious Cindy Lauper cover, "Time after Time," Blaque's first attempt at musical greatness just doesn't cut the mustard for a hardened hip-hop/r&b connoisseur like myself. Everybody you can't stand is going to absolutely love it, though. The album will sell like hotcakes. Every little grubby teeny-bopping finger in America will stand in line to get concert tickets and stuff. It's gonna happen. It's as inevitable as death and taxes. So don't be surprised if you see me waiting behind a group of scantily clad young lovelies to get a Blaque poster to put in my room - I'm already catching the sickness. Fully erect.

-Jason Kirkmeyer

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